• On Being “Socialized as a Male”

    If someone says that I have been “socialized as a male” they usually mean that social forces are so powerful that my brain has been formed into being a man’s brain. Therefore, any patriarchy or toxic masculinity conditioned into cis men has also been conditioned into transfemmes to a similar…

  • Mysticism and the Art of Genderfuckery

    I was never very good at being a boy. Boys are supposed to like sports and hunting and engine grease and playing with trucks. Not girly things like dolls and home decoration and fashion and playing with an easy bake oven. Boys are flannel and denim and dirt under their…

  • A Rite of Queering

    In his classic text “Liberating Rites,” theologian Tom Driver suggests that a ritual is a “transformance”—a performance designed to change a situation. Rites of passage are about a fundamental change in status or identity. For many, “coming out” is a sort of rite of passage. But it is one that…

  • Waiting with Simone Weil

    Waiting is a theme throughout the prophets and the psalms. Waiting upon God seems to be the general posture of the prophets. It is the posture of those who experience the absence of God. Those who long for justice. Like Habbakuk. These are the words of the prophet Habbakuk: O…

  • Attending to Holy Longing

    Underneath our desires, exist deeper desires. As we slowly, with curiosity and self-compassion, sit with our desires, we may get glimpses or senses of those deeper desires. As we continue, deeper and deeper, we find basic desires…core desires that might be better described as “longing.” Find a comfortable place free…

  • Vexing the Vainglorious Ashe Van S.

    If you follow me on social media, you may have noticed that I’ve been very vulnerable about my transition in ways that many (if not most) people could find awkward. When I started my transition, I committed to do so publicly. I’ve shared pictures of myself trying to look pretty.…

  • A Spirituality of Radical Compassion

    My earliest (as far as I can recollect) mystical experience came to me at Camp Joy Bible Camp in rural Minnesota. It was the custom their to have a campfire the final evening. It was a sacred fire of the fundamentalist sort; between songs, campers were encouraged to share “testimonies.”…

  • Queer Rebellions Against God

    When other Christians get upset at me for being in rebellion against God (because, you know, I’m queer and stuff), most of the time it is because they believe the Bible insists upon a strict gender binary and commands heterosexual monogamy as the only faithful way to live. And since…